The subject of Polygamy has for a long time torn me. As a product of the land of the free and the home of the brave where everyone and everyone are labeled equal, I thought it to be a barbaric and dated practice. However, also a product of my ability to resist, to some extent at least, the ideologies of the Western World, I’ve long been interested by the subject. I think about how lucky Okonkwo was in Things Fall Apart, going from one wife and one house to the other, eating a different meal at each. I’ve never known whether or not to envy or pity Okonkwo but after a little over a week with a polygamous family I’ve developed some new ideas.

I think that in many cases, my family being one, polygamy is not only a good thing but also a necessary thing. You have every right to call me a chauvinistic bastard but before you do allow yourself to relinquish a Western understanding of love and gender relations and read the following entry.

Senegal is a very, very young country having acquired their independence in 1960. Thus, the national identity is still in a very malleable state. This reality creates a moral obligation for each new generation to define not only who they are but the country they represent. Before coming to Senegal I was told how French Dakar was. However, I find quite the opposite to be true. Granted the consequences of colonization manifest themselves in many ways (language, cuisine, etc.) but in reality Senegal is not very much like France at all. Nor do they seem to want to be. Wolof is spoken everywhere, most people wear elaborate, colorful, traditional clothing, over 95% of the country is Islamic, etc. If Senegal were a cheeseburger France would be the pickle on the side: simply a dated, sour, often ignored, out of place accent to something that in itself can’t be improved, merely changed.

Polygamy in Senegal has predated the Islamic faith and thus it’s more a matter of culture than it is of religion. I would argue that polygamy is central to Senegal’s identity. Take my family for instance. If Papa Ousmane were not polygamous he would have one house, one set of kids, and one wife. However, because he is polygamous there are three households who contribute to a struggling economy (assuming the rest are like ours), over ten kids from different families being educated in various countries, and more importantly a tradition is being perpetuated. This tradition is the backbone of a culture that is currently being threatened by the American media, which in reality is our culture, amongst other outside influences.

The new generation of kids have adopted many Western practices in effort to assert their own identity. They smoke cigarettes, wear Nike and listen to American music. My fear is that polygamy will be the next invaluable cultural representation that ceases to exist. This road will inevitably lead to cultural homogenization. The ability of polygamy to persevere is central to Senegal’s cultural identity. The good news is that the facts are on their side. First of all there is a disproportionate amount of females compared to males. Also, Senegalese society is gender stratified and although women, like my mother, can pursue stable jobs and societal respect, it’s an uphill battle. Let me be clear in saying that polygamy and the societal disenfranchisement of women are two mutually exclusive entities. I do not think that polygamy requires a perpetuation of inequality between genders. Again, my host mother worked for the government and made a very, very good living doing so. However, nor do I think that the American standard is the only standard against which to measure success. I think a lot of American women would look at the lives of Senegalese women and talk about how oppressed they are and how bad men are etc. What they don’t see though is that women are half of the equation to happiness. No, traditionally Senegalese women don’t make money. But they do take care of the house and cook dinner and raise the kids and provide for their husbands and do just about everything other than making money. This is not a job for the weak, for the oppressed. This is a job for strong willed women who choose to put themselves in polygamous situations.

We think of wives in polygamous families and being entirely dependent on their husbands but I find that the opposite is true. Polygamy inspires, requires even, independence. My mother needs to be able to function five days of the week without a husband. She has to be stable enough with herself, and stable enough in her relationship to my father, to do so. Her situation allows her ample amount of love but also time to herself. I think in many Western relationships we are forced to choose one of the other.

Anyways, I digress. I am for polygamy in Senegal because it makes sense here and has for a long time. The fact that many families, poor and rich alike, still practice polygamy is not only a testament to their faith, tradition and respect for their culture but also the strength and perseverance of a people that have managed to maintain, to hold onto what’s important, in the midst of constant change. What Senegal’s cultural identity will ended up looking like I’m not sure, but I do know that it will be a product strong will, intelligence and choice. Africans are not the weak, submissive people that we’re led to believe they are.